5G in Plain English — Part 2: Is it Safe?

Be afraid, 5G has been proven to cause red necks, spontaneous mullet growth, a serious drop in IQ and a sudden fondness for country and western music. Be very afraid.

Let’s cut to the chase on this one, 5G does not cause Coronavirus or COVID-19. It does however cause some people to act very stupidly, and that’s got nothing to do with microwave frequencies altering our DNA sequences.

Yes, 5G has been shown without a doubt to cause negative behavioral changes in susceptible parts of the general population. (Yes, I wrote that in the full knowledge that someone will quote it, and that just proves my point). So, grab your pitchforks, light your torches, and ring the town bell, because 5G is messing with your heads.

If you’re still reading at this point you’re smart enough to realize that I am taking the piss, if you didn’t pick up on that then you’re probably out there right now with a box of matches and a rather un-stylish tinfoil hat trying to burn down a cell tower.

Let’s backtrack for a second. About six months ago I wrote an article on 5G, the first in a two-part series explaining what 5G was, and what 5G could do for us. The second part was going to explain if 5G was safe, or if there was any truth in the rumors about its impact on health, sun spots, earthquakes, and alien lifeforms. In the end I never wrote part two, I was pleased to see that the human brain had advanced to a point that we could tell fact from fiction, and there was no need for me to write it down.

But here we are, in the midst of the most significant global event of our lives, and I need to clear some shit up, and clear it up fast, before someone actually gets hurt.

Five 5G home truths you need to understand:

#1–5G does NOT cause Coronavirus.

Coronavirus comes from bats. Blind bird-like mammals that fly around in the dark. They carry lots of diseases, we’ve known that for a long time. They smell, a lot. Just leave them the fuck alone. Don’t sell them at markets, and for fucks sake don’t eat them. That’s it. Then you won’t transfer a new form of virus from one species to another.

#2 — Burning down cell towers won’t stop 5G.

Ok, if no matter what I say you still think that 5G is bad, then a much better way to stop its deployment is to not buy a new phone. That’s easy, safe, no one gets hurt, and it saves you money. Seriously, there are over four million cell towers in the world, with 5G needing more granular coverage there will be tens of millions of towers, you can’t burn them all. Just stop using your mobile, stop buying new phones, and cancel your mobile data plan. Removing income from mobile companies will be the quickest way to stop the roll-out of 5G.

Of course, that assumes you are happy to live without your mobile phone. So ask yourselves, who is the real villain in this picture, the mobile company that is simply providing the ever faster data speeds that the public demands, or us for not knowing when enough is enough?

#3 — Burning down forests does cause Coronavirus.

Here’s a hard truth. Humans caused Coronavirus. We were the ones that encroached on the natural habitat of so many species, forced them into close contact with humans, and exposed ourselves to new viruses and diseases. The Earth does not belong to humans, we share it with billions of other life forms, they need their space, we need ours. Even the really cute ones.

There so many unknown viruses and diseases out there that we haven’t yet developed immunity to in parts of the earth where humans didn’t use to live. Now we are bulldozing our way into new areas, forcing other animals to survive in close proximity to us, and as a result we are exposing ourselves to a Pandora's box of new diseases.

If you want to blame something, leave the freaking cell towers alone and have a long hard look at deforestation, unsustainable land use, urbanization, and ecological destruction. This is our doing. Not even the rather smelly bats are to blame for this mess we’ve gotten ourselves into.

#4–5G might actually be bad for us, but get some freaking perspective.

There is mass public hysteria over the fact that 5G might cause some form of unknown illnesses, yet we smoke, burn fossil fuels, cover the planet in micro-plastics, destroy the ozone layer, and create enough nuclear weapons to end the world dozens of times over.

I don’t seem to recall the last news article I read about people protesting outside a plastic factory? Yet we know for a fact that plastic is destroying ecosystems at a rate we can’t control, and plastic lasts for thousands of years.

5G could be turned off tomorrow, plastic will screw the planet for millennia. So worry less about the radio waves coming off your new 5G mobile, and worry more about the toxic plastic waste that your new 5G mobile was wrapped in, and the fact that your mobile is made of plastic.

#5 — There is a source of radiation a billion times more dangerous than all the 5G towers in the world.

We are exposed everyday to a source of radiation that really does cause harm to human DNA, its effects are massively widespread, impacting almost every part of our planet, its out of control and there’s not much we can do to stop it. Prolonged exposure causes cancer, even short-term exposure of 15 minutes can cause severe burns, leading to exposed skin blistering and falling off. The media ignores it, yet it’s the most real threat to human life we face from radiation.

It’s called the Sun. Wear sunscreen.

Get some fucking perspective people. We’re screwing up the planet on a scale never seen before, except by the dinosaurs, and that wasn’t their fault, it was a comet the size of Texas they didn’t see coming. We did see this coming.

We’re to blame for all the bad shit happening to us, not 5G.

I’m not saying 5G is 100% safe, nor am I saying that putting a microwave oven next to your baby’s cot is a good idea, but we don’t go burning down oven factories, or blaming every new pandemic on our Panasonic Genius ovens do we?

Put down the matches, step away from the cell tower, and take a long hard look at yourself. If you still don’t want 5G just stop using your phone. If you don’t want Coronavirus, stay home, and stick to a bat free diet. If you don’t want to become extinct, reuse, recycle and reduce.